Avant Gardening

premiering Bicycle Boy's first film(!!!), mayhem, and more

Bicycle Boys!

It is with great relief and excitement that I present to you……………

Avant Gardening — The Movie

It’s going to premiere in one hour!!! Come hang out in the chat :)

I can’t check the quality from the screen I’m on……. but god i hope it is okay

Read below or listen to the audio to hear about my premiere at the local cinema and the true mayhem that occurred.

Please let me know your thoughts!

Xo

Bicycle Boy

On Saturday, I had what I might long categorize as the Biggest Day of My Life. As an artist, as a professional, as a human being with a dream. It was beautifully bad. It was epic and tragic.

We had our final exhibition of the year, down in the city centre. It was my first time showing my work to anyone publicly, physically, who isn’t here on Bicycle Boy. I wrote the speech for the opening ceremony and spoke it, my hands shaking, my soul wading into new waters, meaning all the words. I looked up from the microphone at all these people who have touched me, whose souls I had the privilege of grazing up against, of knowing, for this small blink of time. To see their art, to hear their sensitivities, to sense what it is they can hear, from where they stand. Afterward, I stood with all of my professors and the tears finally came, after weeks of fighting them off. We all cried and hugged each other. Grieving, hopeful, grateful.

I took the microphone one last time to let the crowd know that in just 10 minutes, I would be premiering my first full-length film in the cinema downstairs. There would be free snacks. They may be expired but they would be free.

The whole crowd funnelled down the stairs. I was sure they must just be leaving. But they stayed in the lobby, next to a group of strangers who had seen the posters. And boys from our block who had seen our hauls of food from the dumpster. Friends from the year and their families. I stood at the door and handed out strawberries to everyone, thanking each one for coming. Seeing all of their eyeballs… I felt I was in a dream. All these people, all here for this little movie? I hoped it would be enough. The seats were filling up… people were laughing, snacking, and excited.

We hit play and the lights dimmed. At first, it was magical. People were laughing. The quality looked amazing on the big screen. There were oohs and aahs. I squeezed Sofia’s hand so hard I thought she might lose it. It was surreal. Then, 15 minutes in, something happened. The screen went black. The audience fell silent, then into a slow whisper.

I went up to check the computer and there seemed to be something wrong with the file. It wasn’t playing anywhere. My professor distracted the audience with more snacks as I tried to search for a different version. I managed to play it. We got five minutes further into the 40-minute film and it crashed again. I was mortified. I asked Sofia if this was just a bad dream. Could she wake me?

I realized that I had, in some stressful haste that morning, deleted the entire movie program to free up enough space on my computer to even export the file. We had tested it just that morning. What happened? I was panicking while everyone sat patiently in their seats. Friends from the audience came up to support me, technically, morally. We even tried to download a new program to try to play the file. Nothing worked.

I eventually had to surrender. I stood up in front of the screen and thanked everyone for coming down. I was horrified but needed to tell them the show was over, I had nothing for them.

They clapped and cheered for what they saw. I looked up and saw smiling faces. My spirits hung on them, lifted.

The theatre emptied. I was shocked and possibly traumatized (given my nightmares since then). All that work, how had it happened? Had I lost everything? Sofia made sure I put my computer away the rest of the day, to not make any more thoughtless mistakes in the mayhem. I lay on the floor for a while and stared at the ceiling of the empty cinema.

Eventually, an employee came in. She heard the news and gave her condolences. And also told me she needed to clean this space so I had to leave. I packed up my shit and went out to lick my wounds.

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Upstairs, Aasne was waiting for me with a cigarette and a glass of champagne on the balcony. She told me what she saw was great. That her family loved it, too. A few people approached and said that the cinema hadn’t been so full in years. That felt like something. A beautiful something. I hugged Aasne and everyone and wept. I felt all their support so strong, so new yet familiar by now. We all cheered and laughed, taking a collective exhale, releasing this beautiful year we shared.

I tried to imagine how to live my life now. I felt changed, different, like nothing would be the same. I had premiered a film! In a real cinema! To real strangers! And it failed! But maybe not because it sucked, just because the file, too, was trash.

Sofia and I went down to the water, in our suits, and ate spring rolls. The first meal I had paid someone else to make me in almost 60 days. It tasted amazing. Somehow it seemed meant to be, the perfect trage-comedy. At least we’d gotten rid of the mounds of candy and chocolate sitting in our house. At least the people ate strawberries. A true omen, indeed.

And, at least, as you can see here, I managed to recover the file.

I hope you enjoy!

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I have a few more dispatches planned for you here before the studios close and I migrate out of here. Thank you for sticking it out with me.

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Songs you heard in the Voiceover:

Intro: Tiny Apocalypse — David Byrne

Outro: The Dear in The Forest Part 1 — Arthur Russell

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Thank you all so much for your support — to Bicycle Boys far and wide.